Home for Wayward Sluts: Dating a Vanilla Person When You Are Kinky http://kinkunveiled.blogspot.ca/?zx=8dcd321b700cd6d8

Monday, 1 August 2016

Dating a Vanilla Person When You Are Kinky

Sometimes, you meet someone and you just feel wildly attracted to them.  There is chemistry and soon you are just thinking about jumping their bones all the time.  But the problem is...every time you mention something 'kinky' they don't respond positively to it. What do you do?

Well, first of all, you have to ask the right questions and drop the right hints and then watch their response.  Specifically, try watching his or her micro-expressions. These are uncontrolled expressions that flash across their face for just a fleeting moment before they regain control and show you what they want you to see.  What their face very closely ... hmmm...maybe you need some practice like this:  http://www.microexpressionstest.com/micro-expressions-test/  

Good, now that you know what to look for...try mentioning spanking her -- and see what her face does...if she reacts with fear or disgust...this girl definitely has some issues with BDSM.

Perhaps you could flat out ask her what she thinks of BDSM or other kinky behaviors...as from my experience, the kinky ones generally don't have a problem talking about it. Scratch that...the experienced and active kinky ones don't. But the ones who are open to but never had the opportunity to explore may be far more concerned with how they appear to you...and not want to just simply reveal that they are good to go for fear of rejection.

The trick is: you don't want to screen out the girls who don't want to appear 'slutty' from the ones who are truly vanilla.

That said, if you do test them on a number of occasions and every time they come up as completely
vanilla...even if you really like them, it is probably not going to work out.  If she loves missionary position with the lights out and you love nasty anal while she's blindfolded and tied to the bed...both of you are on a collision course with a breakup (and mutually unsatisfactory sex).   So be sure. Sit down and have a long dicussion about what you really want in bed. Don't worry if it might go badly as most likely, at the end of this conversation, you are going to break up anyway. Unless they reveal that, 'yeah, I really would love a spanking but was just hiding it!' it is best for everyone to break up.

I know this because I have dated a vanilla person...someone I loved and who loved me...but in bed, it was fucking terrible. I just couldn't pretend to be satisfied any longer. In fact, for months I ended up pretending I was too tired or not interested in sex because...well, i wasn't interested in sex -- with my vanilla partner.  So do yourself a favour and screen the vanillas out early before you both become too attached. Because believe me, there is nothing worse than dating a vanilla person that has a completely different idea of a 'fun time' in bed than you. Sexual chemistry is too important and life is too short to waste on a relationship that doesn't satisfy you.


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