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Thursday, 4 February 2016

Amber Rayne Hates Smurfs

Former porn legend and currently all-round awesome person Amber Rayne hates smurfs. Technically, she is terrified of them.  But what is she so afraid of?  And what the fuck is a smurf anyway?

This girl is not afraid of anal sex, licking pussy, licking assholes or even drinking piss...so why is she so afraid of smurfs?

To me, a smurf is a gamer term meaning an experience
UN Soldiers are also known as smurfs for their blue hats
player who is pretending to be a noob  so they can destroy the low level players and make them look like they were destroyed by a novice.  So yeah, I am somewhat terrified of these forms of smurfs!

Oh, maybe she means a meth lab helper who goes out to by actifeds in quantity along with psuedoephedrine? I have very limited experience with meth and yet the meth heads I have encountered make me think they are the sketchiest class of people ever. So again, I can understand Amber Rayne being terrified of this kind of smurf.

Smurf also is a verb meaning "to wake somebody up by whacking them across the face with your
penis. Ok, this is the one definition that could be the one.  Perhaps she's been woken up sooooo many times by penis face whackings that she's just fucking done with being smurfed so rudely? I don't know...I can't really see her getting bored with that. :/  In fact, I hope she's not as her unbridled enthusiasm and pure sexual energy is part of what makes her one of the most attractive women out there. The kind of girl I would be uber proud to call my girlfriend.  But only if she's not traumatized every time I smurf her. (And have you seen her lately? omg. She's traded her youthful hotness for...something far better.  Her face now has her personality on it -- and that makes her far more appealing (at least to me...because she is so imp-ish and lovable now...so that makes her much more fuckable than she ever was while she was working as an actress.)

Perhaps Amber means a Smurf? Meaning, the drink. Specifically, Blue Curacao, Malibu Rum, ice and
then fill the glass with sprite.  If you want to get extra fancy, add whipped cream and a cherry on top. (It's blue on the bottom and whit-ish on top). Somehow I don't imagine the Amber Rayne is terrified of an alcoholic beverage. It seems too tasty to be that scary.

If it is not any of the above, then perhaps Amber Rayne is terrified of those little blue communists under the 'red father' and party leader.  They are allegedly 3 apples tall but look like little freakish creepy dolls with big eyes.  And worst of all, there are only 2 female smurfs, meaning having 2 girls at once is not an option (if you are female) and that is truly terrifying!

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