Home for Wayward Sluts: Do All Married People Think About Cheating http://kinkunveiled.blogspot.ca/?zx=8dcd321b700cd6d8

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Do All Married People Think About Cheating

extramarital-affair-busted
I heard someone say this today, "All married people at least think about cheating. That is part of marriage. Not acting on it is the other part."  I thought about it and it confuses me even more.  See, I am polyamorous and I have accepted that people have the capacity and urge to make connections with various people as they pass through life -- and so I see this whole dominant culture of monogamy is a great disservice to happiness and living life.

But seriously, people get married and just accept that they want to sleep with someone else but deny themselves -- often repeatedly. People accept this as part of marriage? Why? I am honestly asking. Monogamy actually makes no sense to me and hasn't since the very first time that I stumbled across a book written in the 1600s about polyamary and a light bulb went on.  I knew that this was how I WAS.  I had just never had anyone tell me that it was an option.

So do all married people think about cheating and just accept it? And many act on it too...but just how currently have a sexual partner (or at least this year.)  Others say about 18-20% of people have affairs over their marriage. Still others like Sherry Hite think 70% of women in marriages over 5 years have had an affair.  Yet another source says men are the bad ones with 65% having affairs compared with 45% of women.  But I think the real answer is: we don't know and depends on who you ask.
caught-cheating-with-textmany I couldn't get a clear picture of.  Tom Smith of the National Opinion Research Centre (NORC) thinks about 3-4% of married people

But if you ask Americans, 80% polled by the NORC say extramarital sex is always wrong.  But take that with a grain of salt as 56% said homsexual relationships are wrong and 26% think premarital sex is always wrong too...so Americans must be feeling really really guilty about their own actions.

If a good portion of the population acts on extramarital sex -- then is it really so hard to believe that all
Instead of acting like this...
people in a marriage have the thoughts and the urges at least some of the time? A Gallop poll said that
92% feel that having an affair is morally wrong -- so maybe we are all just a bunch of sinners?

The other option is far scarier. Maybe we are all a bunch of bonobos and we are trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Perhaps, there is a better way to be.

better-than-monogamy
You could be like this - and happy.






5 comments:

  1. I don't see how I could be happy knowing that my husband was cheating on me. It would make me want to cheat myself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Coming from almost every aspect possible, (I've been in a poly relationship, a lesbian relation, a monogamous relationship, married at one time) I have to say that I am BY FAR happier in a poly relationship. I know what I like and I've found it impossible to find it all in one person. I can dedicate my heart to one person, love him/her entirely, and still have feelings for others. Still want to be with others. And still want and encourage my significant other to be with others. Unfortunately, I've only found one person in my years who was accepting of this lifestyle. Everyone says that they are greedy and can't share.

    Not "sharing" is what typically leads to cheating or breaking up. No one is ever going to be happy with just one person in their bed. Variety is the spice of life. I'm very bi and, just as a man, I crave a good woman. I also crave a man. So, that said, if I live in a triad, isn't that polyamory for him? He's okay with it, but I'm not as I want another man if he can have another woman. ...but he won't take another man. Talk about a clusterfuck!

    So, here I am deep in the puts of Ohio, living in a monogamous relationship, fighting to be the perfectly loyal girlfriend. And, my inner voices tell me he fights to be a loyal boyfriend. When I bring it up, he gets defensive. So, I just live with it. One day my dreams will come true!! One day....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Coming from almost every aspect possible, (I've been in a poly relationship, a lesbian relation, a monogamous relationship, married at one time) I have to say that I am BY FAR happier in a poly relationship. I know what I like and I've found it impossible to find it all in one person. I can dedicate my heart to one person, love him/her entirely, and still have feelings for others. Still want to be with others. And still want and encourage my significant other to be with others. Unfortunately, I've only found one person in my years who was accepting of this lifestyle. Everyone says that they are greedy and can't share.

    Not "sharing" is what typically leads to cheating or breaking up. No one is ever going to be happy with just one person in their bed. Variety is the spice of life. I'm very bi and, just as a man, I crave a good woman. I also crave a man. So, that said, if I live in a triad, isn't that polyamory for him? He's okay with it, but I'm not as I want another man if he can have another woman. ...but he won't take another man. Talk about a clusterfuck!

    So, here I am deep in the puts of Ohio, living in a monogamous relationship, fighting to be the perfectly loyal girlfriend. And, my inner voices tell me he fights to be a loyal boyfriend. When I bring it up, he gets defensive. So, I just live with it. One day my dreams will come true!! One day....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Autumn So you've actually lived in poly relationships and you were 'by far happier' for realz?!? It sounds too good to be true. I live in Utah and i didn't really know this was an option 'cause everyone around me is more than a little bit Mormon. If i was completely honest with myself i would say i crave both a good woman and a good man too.

      I would totally be okay with sharing if I got to have this 'triad' thing. i agree with u that if he can have 2 women then you should be able to have 2 men. Wow, i can't believe i just wrote that!!

      Delete
  4. How do we contact you?

    ReplyDelete