Home for Wayward Sluts: Top 10 Rules for BDSM Play Parties http://kinkunveiled.blogspot.ca/?zx=8dcd321b700cd6d8

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Top 10 Rules for BDSM Play Parties


Domme at a playpartyThese are some great general rules for noobies to take to heart and I'm sure most experienced players wold agree with all of them.  If you follow these rules, you will probably gain respect within the community. If you don't -- you will almost certainly gain a negative reputation over time.

1)  Use  a 'Safe Call'  -- Inform someone that you are going off to play with someone new (the really applies to meeting someone in a non-public space/play party but can easily apply to public parties where you may go home with them afterwards.)  Let them know when and where you are going and when they should expect to hear back from you. It's a big fucking red flag if the Dom doesn't respect this. And as a Dom, it's also not a bad idea in case she's a basketcase and starts making crazy allegations -- you have a friend to back you up and it will look way way less rapey if you can present a friend who you informed for safety reasons  -- and it also immediately brings other safe play partners and practices right to the forefront.of an investigation.  As a sub, it you safety net so people start looking for you -- the last thing you want is to 'disappear'.

hot girls at bdsm playparty2) Research your Playmate  -- If your only contact with someone is very brief at a party or worse, online only -- you should definitely research them before you yourself in a situation where they can seriously harm you. Talk to people about if they think the person is a safe partner.  Remember, just because people talk to them at a party and are friendly with them IS NOT an endorsement! They can be great to talk to and scary-ass to play with!  Nothing beats finding out at bit about their past -- Doms, I'm also talking to you! If she's bat shit crazy and made accusations about other playmates -- stay the fuck away! Hot NEVER trumps crazy. Ever.

private bdsm party3) Hot NEVER trumps crazy: (It worth it's own rule!) A person's hotness and sex appeal is a great draw to want to be with them. But the whole crazy factor cannot be underestimated -- I'm speaking from experience here!!! A girl who is a 10 but shows signs of being nuts -- makes her a 5. An 8 becomes a 3.  Seriously...you might think it's ok because they are so hot but NOOOOO! Stay away! Not worth it. SOOO not worth it!  Run. Flee.  Go home alone. Never even consider sleeping with them.  You can't fix crazy but crazy can destroy all your shit -- literally. One example: a girl who showed signs of being unglued but I ignored them because, well, boobs and teeny-tiny waist said to me, "I am going to take everything that you own and burn it to ashes." And she totally meant it.  I lost some great stuff to her just because I didn't want to have any more contact with her at all.  As for crazy Dom -- my first thought it, 'what is near that can be used as a weapon' -- you don't even want to get on their radar as a target.  On the plus side, people are usually completely forthcoming about warning you if you ask.

sexslave at playparty
Note: a tied off neck noose can be downright deadly.

4) Don't EVER interrupt. If a scene is going on, it's fine to watch but never go up and start talking to the sub or Dom. This is considered very rude as it breaks your rhythm, concentration and generally interrupts your flow. There are people who can interrupt -- namely the Dungeon Master's who intervene for safety reasons or if things like safe words are being ignored.  (Note: It's possible that I would step in if I was something truly unsafe happening -- but never would I step in for any form of social reason.)
bdsm fetish party
5) Always discuss play beforehand:  talk about what is going to be done before you start a scene. There's nothing worse than starting play and having a sub call 'Red' because she has no interest in being impacted by a particular implement. It's embarrassing. And easily avoidable by talking briefly about your plan for her. (Of course, long term partners need not have such discussions before each public play event -- but this discussion should have taken place a some point.)

fetish playparty with bdsm6) Know the limits: You have definitely have had at least one discussion to get to know the other person's hard and soft limits, medical conditions and any triggers that set them off.

7) Have a safe word. If for any reason things don't go as planned, you gotta have and know a pre-agreed upon safe word.  If you haven't, most parties have a default of 'Red' for a full stop and 'Yellow' as a, 'yo, we gotta talk.'

8) Don't play when obviously drunk/high: your judgement is impared, you will make mistakes, it's much easier to miss something and hurt someone -- and generally people will notice this and think of you as unsafe.

fetish party9) Wipe up afterwards:  Clean any equipment you've touched with wipes (often provided by the event). This means any surface someone has been in contact with, laid upon, and implements used. It's good hygiene and will make you look more responsible too as you are looking out for the next people to play.

10) Aftercare:  Nothing looks more tender than a Dom who has absolutely crushed his sub being sweet and gentle afterwards. He manages her emotional state and makes sure she is ok -- not just immediately afterwards but all night. Aftercare is very important.  He gets her water right away (to show her he is looking after her) and maybe cuddle her or get her a stuffed animal if she's a little.


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