Home for Wayward Sluts: Improving the Self-Image of your slave Pt.1 http://kinkunveiled.blogspot.ca/?zx=8dcd321b700cd6d8

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Improving the Self-Image of your slave Pt.1



Your slave's self-image is your responsibility


First off, before you go running off trying to help and guide others: you absolutely must have a positive self-image for yourself. I repeat: any Master must have a positive self image. If not, it will be super obvious to your slave and any lessons you are trying to teach will come off as in-genuine and inconsistent. (Note: women are 5-10x more sensitive to inconsistent behaviors of men so guys...there really is no faking it.)

Why should a slave have a positive self image? Isn't it easier to control a beaten and broken girl with no self-esteem?  Well, yes...but you then are responsible for a low grade girl who is likely to be miserable.  Besides, slaves can be trained far more easily with good mental health and self-image.  And the whole point of being a Master is to uplift your slaves and improve their lives...and this begins with her internal thinking. 
So after you have mastered yourself, the next step is to grasp exactly where your slave is and how she thinks about herself. She may have an internal dialogue that is completely out of control and feeding her a wonky view of the world and herself. So the first step is talk to her and question her: find out how she thinks of things, what she thinks about and how she feels about herself.  This should be done very early on in her training.
I like to think of the this as guiding the tonal. The tonal is term used by Carlos Castaneda as term for the part of us responsible our internal dialogue and how we see and describe the world to ourselves. The tonal is that internal voice that is constantly talking to us and telling us all sorts of things that make sense to us -- because it's been working with our own personal logic system for all of our lives (ok, since we were 3-4 years old in most cases.)  And this logic system is based entirely on our past experiences alone and can be completely custom tailored to just one person. So the tonal is the voice in our heads but also the part that controls all of our expectations and guides our actions. 
Sometimes I want to do this to a girl's tonal
But our tonal has tons of faulty logic.  Sure, it may say, "Hey! A $50 bill on the ground! Pick it up before anyone else sees it."  But it may also say, "You can't talk to that girl because she's got a blue umbrella on a sunny day. You know what happened last time you tried to chat up a crazy girl like that." ...which is utter non-sense but the tonal only has to be convincing to one person. In fact, almost anyone else listening in on someone else's internal thoughts from their tonal...would probably think they were totally and utterly nuts. In fact, it's the purpose of the Master to help the slave out by examining her tonal and pointing out the crazy stuff she's convinced herself of.
And the tonal is basing most decisions and actions on past experience...on convictions rather than actually observing the current situation closely.  And with this, the tonal determines how we live our lives. 
Now, being a Master, your job is not easy at all. This is not so 'sexy' but rather useful for the slave. But at the same time, guiding her tonal can have the most profound impact on her life -- and on how she lives as a slave. Adjusting her tonal, she can learn to love herself, you, her body and have the most positive self-image possible. She can learn to view her slavery as that best and most freeing thing that could happen to anyone. And she can learn that sex is awesome and cumming all the time and being happy can be a way of life.
Often, certain key events served to shape your slave's beliefs.  It's important to know what those events were and how she views them.  Remember, there is no judgement at all -- your job is simply 3 things:
  1. determine the facts of what happened
  2. determine the story her tonal is telling her about those facts
  3. Determine the result on her life
NOTE:  do not assess the facts with your own tonal and logic system

If she thinks that putting an eggshell in every cup of tea she drinks makes her happy and pretty because her grandmother did it...fine. Facts: her grandmother put eggshells in her tea and now she does it. Story: eggshells in tea make you happy and pretty. Result: she feels happy and pretty.

If you asses this with your own tonal, you probably think this is nuts. You may even want to completely alter this belief because it's so crazy.  But I wouldn't touch it because the result is serving her: she feels happy and pretty.   

And this whole idea of controlling her tonal is results based. 

Of course, emotions play a massive role in the power of beliefs so pay close attention to the emotions and emotional words that come out of her mouth. 

Now a positive self image is important...and getting there is a trick.  You have to guide her and her tonal so that she slowly abandons the beliefs that are not serving her and replace them beliefs that give her a sense of satisfaction, belonging, accomplishment and joy from serving her Master well.  Linking service with feeling pride and accomplishment is key. Then she will want to serve you because service makes her  happy. 

If her tonal is controlled then you control the slave. 

A slave can also learn to let go of all sorts of stresses and negative ideas and replace them with a feeling of safeness...security...knowing that it's not her responsibility but her Master's and she trusts him with her life.  Instead of feeling worried or stressed she feels ease and safe knowing that she just someone else's property. She knows that the most important things are to serve well. 

Additionally, she cannot own other material things and as a result...she is freed from the most destructive cycles and forces in the Western world: being caught up in trying to acquire material things for 'happiness' and showing off your status through your material wealth. Instead, she feels the happiness of being a slave.

Now how do you get to know all about your slave's tonal? Again, part of slave training is removing any privacy she might have with her thoughts and emotions. You are her Master and she can and must tell you all the important thoughts in her head. This can have a profound effect on her -- and help her to trust you more than any other person on the planet.

Many psychologists have patients fall in love with them because they can tell them anything and they listen-- and are not judgmental at all.  This too is your role as a Master. Never, ever berate her for telling you some stupid thing that is on her mind. If it needs to be changed and adjusted, do that...but never make her feel bad about sharing.

All of this promotes openness, sharing, trust and...love.  So take it very seriously and treat this powerful tool with respect.

Wow, I still have a lot more to say on this subject so I will end this here and continue in my next post on the practical things you can do to help boost your slave's self-image. 

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